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  • Writer's pictureLu Akin

What We're Not Going To Do...Self-Sabotage

If you're following me on Instragram, I ranted about my very complicated relationship with goals. While I was writing that particular caption-- I was fighting off the feeling of failure.

Every time I saw a post or a video I would feel more than ever that I should be creating/producing more. Yet, every time I thought about creating a blog post or video...I hesitated. I didn't want to confront that hesitation, so I just let my hesitation turn into procrastination. Eventually, I forgot I even hesitated and became frustrated with my procrastination. Silly right? When I was reminded of my internal checklist or if I saw something that reminded me of my commitment, I would feel guilty. Which would then turn into me finding something to absolve my guilt. That something could look like scrolling on social media or watching YouTube videos-- it could be anything that could distract me long enough from my to-do list.

Until I realized I needed to confront myself (I am a hater of all things confrontation). I needed to sit myself down and have an intervention (the first one of the day). I procrastinate because I fear what I am going to produce won't be impactful. When I want to do something I automatically think "no one is going to be interested." So rather than put myself out there to be a failure as I would see it I try to take small unnoticeable risks.

But that's not going to cut it in 2020. Before heading into this year I asked myself "what would December 2020 look like if you committed to yourself 100%?" And while 100% may come with challenges and setbacks, it's less about the production and more about the mindset. I'm deciding not to do things to be liked or to seem impactful, rather I simply want to do everything that is in my heart, so that the seeds would produce a harvest-- no matter how large.

Because the truth is, it isn't always about the amount of engagement. It's about consistency and taking those risks. When you consistently show up for yourself everyone can tell.

So this week I challenge you to do something that's outside of your comfort zone. And rather than thinking of 10 ways you can lowkey sabotage your goal replace that thought with this:

"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."

Philippians 4:8

So...stop telling yourself not to do something because of whatever valid reason you've come up with. Think of the lovely, pure, and honorable things you'd bring to the world by releasing a part of you.

Moment of Intentionality - a question/writing prompt to help you reflect personally

  • What is something you've always wanted to do but you hesitate or dismiss the thought? Where does that hesitation come from?

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